Sports and Gay People

First and foremost I’m a sports nut, esp. when it comes to hockey and golf. I’ve been involved in various sports since I was very young, one thing I can thank my dad for. When I was younger I played baseball and golf in the summer and hockey in the winter. I was actually a really good goalie and played on my towns travel team, even got my picture on the front page of our sports section making a huge save (I was a goalie). I’ve played golf for a long time, when I was in high school I even played on a junior tour for about 3 years and had a great time. Looking back I have two big regrets; that I didn’t pursue golf more and go after a scholarship in the states, and that I quit playing hockey at still a young age.


High school was a very tough ride for me, I really isolated myself, mostly due to frequently changing schools, the other was I couldn’t handle my feelings or the guilt and shame I allowed myself to feel. If I couldn’t see a reason why anyone would want to be friends with me, then they wouldn’t, or so I told myself. As such I really didn’t know what I wanted to do, if anything, so I just let things fall to the side.

As for hockey, I really wasn’t enjoying it anymore, for all the things guys do during the game (hugging, patting each other on the ass, etc) and even showering after and the horseplay that goes with it, most would consider those things to be “gay”, and yet they are one of the most unaccepting groups around, outside of the army that is, and yes I was in the military. Nowhere else do you hear things that are meant to demean and humiliate guys and about 99% of it has to do with being gay. With what I was going through personally I just couldn’t take it anymore. Funny enough recently the son of the Leafs GM/President Brian Burke came out very publically with an article on ESPN, which of course got picked up by every major news here, and he said he quit playing hockey as a goalie for the very same reason I did. Not only that but he is on staff with the hockey team at the university he attends. For those who haven’t read it, it is an incredible read, not only his story, but that of his dad who by all accounts one would call a man’s man.

http://www.thestar.com/sports/article/730975--burke-lauded-for-support-of-gay-son

http://www.thestar.com/sports/article/730485

http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/columns/story?columnist=buccigross_john&id=4685761

Myself I can only applaud Brendan and wish I had the balls to do what he’s done. Myself I played the game and after I quit I took up referring. I have been able to excel and work at a very high level that includes around 8 Provincial Finals (or state finals for our friends south of the border) our Provincial Junior League, the Canadian Winter Games, and over 10 association finals. Along with reffing I also coach hockey. I’ve coached teams from our local kids’ recreation to kids’ rep to provincial junior. I’ve actually coached a bunch of kids who made our National Junior team and a few of them have made the NHL. How much of this would I have been able to do if I was out? I have no idea at all, but I tell you putting the time in and watching them grow not only as players but as people has been a source of countless great memories, something I wouldn’t trade for anything! As it stands I’m not looking to be a trailblazer, but it also hurts to think that I have to hide a part of who I am just due to the fear of the unknown.